i deleted my Facebook over the summer because i was tired of all the fake people on there and i was just tired of people period. Not that i’m an anti-social or anything, i was just tired of what “we” all are. we are all hypocrites, we are all liars, we all have that something that makes us… just human. i mean, its normal & all & I’m not trynna complain but thats my opinion.But in contrast, we are all “good” or potentially good. well we all know where we stand on that note (: but Im finding myself this weird situation- i really don’t know how i feel. throughout my years of high school i really had no close close friends. Well of course I had my little group of friends that i love to death but drama comes to one and bites our asses and its just aggravating. Then people get left out and uninvited to things. & it makes you feel left out even when its not their fault. I’m not sure if that made ANY sense but this is just how i feel. you see where you stand in that friendship.Everything started to annoy me. Im genuinely a happy person and i like making others smile and etc. but no one would have EVER known that there is and WAS something bothering ME. No one really took the time to ask me the little things- such as “how was your day?” “how was your test?” etc. (you get the point). My Sisters gone, my parents don’t even talk to me- about 99.9% the time they’re busy doing other things. &even when i TRY to have a close relationship with them, they just shut me down or they just don’t take me seriously.& my little bro is too young to even understand… I got caught up in a relationship this senior year & i FINALLY found someone that would be there for me 111111110000000000000006874857087% of the time. He’s actually my best friend & love. i know it sounds so cliché- but you just spend so much time with that one person that you just begin to open up and show more of who you really are. and theres NOTHING better than that feeling of having someone you can just chill with and have long convos with. From that moment, i slowly decided to hangout with him more & more & more during school- which meant less time for friends. Although he’s friends with my friends, i just decided to hang out with just him. I started to notice the drift between me & some of my friends but it wasn’t drastic- i still feel close with them as soon as we pick up a convo… its not like i shut them out. i would never want to do that with anyone thats important to me. but anyways, When i get invited to places, i would probably make it to about 3/10 of those events. Its just because my mom is strict on me… but then when i hear people talk about something i couldn’t go to, it hurts my feelings because sometimes they’ll rag on me for not going when clearly they just don’t understand. Its not exactly the most easiest thing to do to ask my parents for something. i feel like it burdens them- or if they do let me go, they WILL hold it against me in the future. like i said, I’m not trynna complain… i caught myself logged on on my brothers FB & i began to scroll through my friends’ pages or random peoples pages. i grew JEALOUS. i guess thats the word for it. I was finally seeing what i was missing out on in my teenage years. & i really wish i could’ve made it better. there were just so much more things that i wanted to experience but i never got the chance to. Its just really hitting me hard that I’m graduating next week and those times are over. its time to grow up and be on my own. but then, there will be more to my life- & ill be sure to learn from my mistakes. “YOLO” & This is all… “to be continued”
Listening to a 45 minute lecture while reviewing Power Points - NOW THATS HOW YOU STUDY FOR A FINAL.
-oh & Skype (x
Having my laptop in front of my face is NOT HELPING! -_-t
heres a video of me making better music then skrillex
(via classssyandfabulous)
